


Line of Departure

by Kahika



Series: Relay Monument Incident [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, First Time, Grief/Mourning, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:50:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3896971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahika/pseuds/Kahika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have been a little intense between them in the month and a half since Joker interrupted them in the cargo bay, but Garrus doesn't know if right after Shepard's memorial is really the time for cultural exchange. Ashley's not <i>trying</i> to put the fun in funeral.</p><p>There's nothing like losing someone to make you scared of losing someone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Line of Departure

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate titles, because apparently half of me wants to do war titles and the other half wants to do song lyrics: "Not a Victory March" or "How to Shoot Somebody Who Outdrew You". You can plonk on [Kate Voegele's version of "Hallelujah"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k29JxVCKBBM) as a soundtrack, I guess.

Garrus has never been to a funeral without a body.

He knows they exist, of course; he's just been extremely fortunate up until now. The humans have another, singular word for it, which seems a more elegant solution than the way his translator's giving him a phrase every time. The service is playing out pretty much the same, anyway: Anderson says nice things, Ashley sits stiffly in her dress uniform with the Alliance contingent, even while sitting down Joker clings to his crutches so hard that Garrus thinks he'll break his hands, Wrex punched out five people on the way and headbutted an Alliance official to get inside (he and Ashley had had to step in), Tali's crying loudly in her helmet, Liara's biotics are sizzling faintly around her even with her amp in her lap, and he's... he's observing the squad and occasionally patting Tali's shoulder, rather than looking at the cushion with Shepard's insignia and medals where every other funeral he's been to had a casket.

(Kaidan had had a memorial too, back on Earth, but his parents had only invited the humans. Though Shepard had half-heartedly offered to talk them around, the idea seemed too rude in the Alenkos' time of grief to go through with. They'd sat on the Alliance dock at Vancouver instead and gotten drunk on a Canadian beer Garrus had recognized as what Ashley had him buy on the Citadel; he drank an overpriced dextro beer and Tali didn't drink. Wrex had used his biotics to try and make Garrus's crest stick up like Kaidan's hair, but tipsy biotic control isn't control at all so he'd ended up shoving Garrus head first into the harbor right as Alliance fighters flew overhead. Good thing Liara had been there to fish him out and then distract Shepard from asking why he was wet. Explaining that she'd lost another squadmate on the day of one's memorial would have been awkward.)

After the gun salute, Liara announces she "should go" and leaves before anyone can stop her. (She's been the most determined to find Shepard and didn't even want to hold the memorial; it wouldn't surprise him if she's going right back to the search.) Wrex declares he needs ryncol, and carefully drags Joker out with him. Ashley goes straight to Tali and puts her arm around her, and they speak softly until Tali straightens, nods, and heads out the door.

It's only once Tali's gone that Ashley allows herself to slouch, wiping her eyes, and finally Garrus goes to her. Things have been a little intense between them in the month and a half since Joker interrupted them in the cargo bay. Even in their professional conversations it's felt like there was no one else in the room, and Ashley's had her sniper's focus in her eyes every time they've made eye contact; there's no way she doesn't feel it. She's said nothing about it, though, so Garrus has taken his cue from her: As interested as he is in more, first and foremost they're squadmates, and, since the crash, unofficial commanding and executive officers of what's left of the _Normandy_ crew. (The humans listen to her more readily than to him, so she'd been happy to let him take charge of Wrex, Tali, and Liara.)

"Whatever you just said to Tali, good job," he says softly.

Ashley sniffs. He offers her a handkerchief. "She reminded me of Abby, at Dad's funeral," she says, taking the hanky but not using it. "I could hear her the entire service. It killed me that I couldn't sit with you guys, especially after you weren't allowed at Kaidan's."

"We all knew you wanted to be with us," he says.

"And now Tali's going back to the flotilla - she said we can see her off tomorrow, but she wants to be alone while she packs." Ashley tiptoes, touching her forehead to his for a moment in a way she doesn't with anyone else on the squad. "Let's get out of here."

They walk aimlessly for a few minutes before deciding to go to Ashley's hotel room, since neither of them want to go out and he's sharing with Tali. Now that none of them have a fixed abode or even a docked ship, the Alliance put them up in a Presidium hotel, but they've made the non-humans room together; Wrex is bunking with Liara.

Every elevator ride on the way, Ashley recites a different verse of a poem about a dead captain. He suspects his translator's not getting the beauty of the words, but her voice makes it the most soothing thing he's heard in days. She just shakes her head when he asks why she didn't say it at the service.

As Garrus perches awkwardly on the couch, Ashley goes to the dresser and starts unpinning her military decorations.

"I hate wearing my dress blues," she mutters. "Even after all the military balls, all I can think of when I put them on is Dad's funeral and Kaidan's memorial, and now Shepard's too."

"You also wore them to the medal ceremony. Let's hope Sarah marries Thomas so you can wear them to another good thing," he says, his voice light. "You look nice in them, Williams."

Ashley gives him an exasperated smile in the mirror. "Flatterer. You said that after the medal ceremony."

She'd also barely reacted when he said it after the medal ceremony, so while a small part of him knows this isn't the time to make a pass at her, he figures it's something that can be said between friends too. "Is it flattery if it's true?"

"I _should_ look good in them," she says. "I think there's enough starch in here to feed a small levo colony. Did you see Joker? Because he bribed me into doing his uniform, too."

"I wish I'd known you for my last C-Sec funeral. I hate pressing uniforms."

She laughs, but it's sharp and brittle, and her hands shake on her second medal. Garrus gets up to unpin it for her, mindful of not scratching the metal, and then headbutts her gently.

"Where's your medal box?"

Pulling away, she goes to the safety deposit box in the wardrobe, keys in her code, and pulls out the small black box. He slots in the medal for the Battle of the Citadel, and after a moment of staring at it, she replaces her Eden Prime medal.

"I still don't feel like I deserve that," she says. "Nothing about Eden Prime felt very brave at the time, let alone worthy of a medal of bravery."

It's not the first time she's said this, or even the first time this week. He sighs. At least it's better than actual 'it should have been me' and death wishes. "Bad luck and a geth ambush don't make your response to it any less brave, and Shepard would agree with me."

"She pretty much did, you know," she says, looking up. "She was saying that right from when I first joined the _Normandy_ : That it wasn't my fault, that I did all I could. Anderson wouldn't tell me anything, but it wouldn't surprise me if she was the one who said I should get something for it."

"There we go," he says. "Listen to your CO from beyond the grave."

Ashley chokes out a laugh that almost sounds like a sob, shuts the medal box, and buries her head in his chest, her arms slipping around his waist. He holds her as she finally starts crying, knuckles stroking her back, gloved talons in her bun, and doesn't mention her creasing her dress uniform and his best suit. It's the first time he's seen her cry: She'd been quiet after Kaidan's memorial, but she'd probably gotten her worst reaction to his death over with while the _Normandy_ was on lockdown, and ever since the crash, she's been holding it together, probably for the rest of the squad.

Eventually she stills, only giving the occasional hiccup in his arms, and then she mumbles, "Oh, shit. My uniform -"

She steps away and starts stripping down, muttering, "I really hate wearing this thing." Garrus politely averts his eyes, and then drapes the hotel-provided bathrobe over her shoulders when she sits on the edge of the bed in her underwear instead of putting something else on. She doesn't bother closing it. He notes with academic interest that unlike the underwear she was wearing on the _Normandy_ , this set matches.

"You never see me in my lingerie at my best, do you," she says, taking out her bun, and he laughs despite himself.

"Like I get the lingerie thing anyway," he points out. "I just like seeing you with your hair down."

He's not joking about her hair: Seeing it out of its bun is an aesthetically pleasing novelty, which mostly seems to happen when she's in lingerie. She probably looks nice in it, but human bodies are weird, and he suspects he likes her in it half because of her hair, and half because he can see her waist more clearly than in uniform. His eyes trace her curves, remembering how soft her skin feels under his ungloved hands, realizing why even the cheapest human armor tends to be more solid than mid-range turian armor.

Ashley shakes her head, a small, wry smile on her face. "I gotta take my clothes off for human guys more often."

He's not sure what to make of that comment, and rather than draw attention to it, starts picking up her uniform off the ground to hang. He can feel her eyes on him the whole time. Once he's done, she pats the spot on the bed next to her.

"Ash," he says delicately, taking the seat. "I don't know if this is really the time for cultural exchange."

It's the first time either of them have brought it up. Between geth skirmishes, the medal ceremony, Kaidan's memorial, the crash, and the search for survivors and then bodies, there never seemed to be a good time. Not that this is a good time either.

"Oh my god," she says. "I'm not trying to put the fun in funeral."

He pauses as his translator mangles the expression. "Is that supposed to be a human idiom?"

She reaches for her omni-tool and types in the two words, one on top of the other, giving him time to establish where they are. "Now turn your translator off."

He does, which makes the next thing out of her mouth mean nothing to him, but he can see now that the first three characters of both words are the same. "Human pun," he says.

Ashley pokes at his omni-tool. He switches his translator back on. " _English_ pun," she says.

So much for no cultural exchange. She puts her omni-tool on her bedside table, then leans into his side, head on his shoulder, and he puts his arm around her, wondering how that movement feels so natural when the only reason they've touched each other since the Mako has been to shove each other around in geth fights.

"Are you okay?" she asks quietly. "I know Shepard meant a lot to you too."

That's the first time anyone's asked him, probably because he hasn't been grieving quite as demonstratively as the rest of the squad. Garrus shrugs his other shoulder. "She meant a lot to all of us."

Her fingers touch his cheek, turning his face to hers. " _Garrus_."

Ashley's gaze catches him like a pyjak in headlights, intense and earnest. The thing about her focus when she's sniping and, lately, when she's looking at him, is that unlike a lot of other snipers, himself included, she doesn't go cold: Her eyes _burn_. At least right now it's only at about campfire strength. He swallows.

"I hate that she's gone," he says. "The galaxy's down its best Spectre, one of its best _people_. We're never going to see her talking down a crazy man or dancing like an idiot again, and we can't even bury a body and visit her somewhere."

"You know they're thinking of making her a monument," she says, then shakes her head. "I know it's not the same."

"We were talking about our plans for after," he says. "I already put in my Spectre application, and I start back at C-Sec next week - Shepard talked me into it, said I could do some good there even with all the red tape. But I never thought it'd be happening this soon, or like this."

"I've been reassigned," Ashley whispers.

Of course she would be, but for some reason he hadn't been expecting it. "When do you ship out?"

"Two days."

Garrus takes a sharp breath, touching his forehead to hers. "That's not a lot of time."

"Would've been tomorrow if Anderson hadn't stepped in," she says, and sighs. "It's like Kaidan said on Virmire: It's weird going under someone else's command."

He'll have to send Anderson a thank you note later. Ashley's been a constant in his life these past months, as much a part of his new home in the universe as the _Normandy_ itself was until the crash. Having to say goodbye to her almost immediately after saying their final goodbyes to Shepard would have been unbearable.

Of course, telling her that would probably scare her straight onto the Alliance docks, so he decides to show it instead. It only takes the slightest tilt of his head to turn turian affection into human affection, soft and closed mouthed like their first kiss.

Ashley gives a contented sigh. "What happened to no cultural exchange?" she asks, without moving away.

"You told me a kiss like that was affection, not foreplay," he says. "Anyway, you taught me an English pun as soon as I said 'cultural exchange'."

She laughs softly. "I guess I'm no good at listening," she says, and kisses him again. It's the tender and lingering kind of kiss he's sometimes seen on the Citadel docks, between couples where one half's leaving; not that they're a couple, but with the squad already starting to break apart and split off without Shepard to keep them in orbit, he doesn't mind taking their time, kissing slowly instead of hungrily like she first taught him.

Eventually she takes hold of his carapace, and leans back onto the bed and pulls him onto her with one smooth motion. The bathrobe falls from her shoulders and Garrus suddenly feels overdressed, so he pulls his jacket over his head, and Ashley's hands immediately slip under his shirt. He leans down and nips at her collarbone, then soothes over it with his tongue; he's not out to hurt her today, no matter how much she liked it last time, not when they're both already hurting and she has to look presentable for a new unit in two days. As she strokes where his chest plates meet, his hands tighten around her waist, carefully, talons on the robe instead of her skin.

Ashley tugs at the bottom of his shirt until he removes it, then informs him, "You look good in a suit."

He blinks. "So you're getting me out of it."

"Garrus," she breathes, sliding her legs wider apart. "You look _good_ in a suit."

 _Ah_. Garrus smirks, and starts taking off his gloves and tech. "Why didn't you say so after the medal ceremony?"

She laughs, self-deprecatory. "I don't know," she says. "Because we never make out when I'm happy."

"You only come onto me when you're grieving," he points out. First Kaidan, and now Shepard. It's a worrying pattern.

" _You_ kissed _me_ this time -"

He flares his mandibles incredulously. That kiss was _affection_ , damnit. "You're the one who took your clothes off."

"That wasn't..." She huffs, and then shakes her head. "Well, it's not like you ever came onto me either."

Maybe 'you look nice in dress uniform' _was_ a little ambiguous. Unfortunately, that's not what comes out of his mouth: "Because I didn't think you'd still want me when you're sober!"

It wasn't even a conscious thought until this moment, but Garrus realizes it's true as soon as he says it. Ashley's eyes widen, and the words hang between them like a live, uncovered wire throwing off sparks.

He sits back, looking anywhere but her face, and considers joining Wrex and Joker. Ryncol's bad for _everyone_ who isn't krogan; the levo aminos would probably be the least of his worries.

"I'm not what you could call close to home," he says, self-conscious over having blurted out his feelings and abrupt for it. " _I get it_."

She props herself up on her elbows. "I never _stopped_ wanting you."

Besides the Battle of the Citadel afterparty (where she didn't get anywhere near as wasted as she did the night they stole the _Normandy_ ) and a couple of beers after the medal ceremony (there wasn't any left after Kaidan's memorial), she hasn't been drinking, he knows that. Which means -

Ashley squeaks in surprise as Garrus throws his visor aside, ignores the crunching sound, and kisses her, pinning her to the bed as if that will keep her here on the Citadel. She recovers quickly, though, and puts her arms over his shoulders, one hand stroking his neck plates, the other reaching up to tangle in his crest. He takes hold of her waist, hips flush to hers, and as she hooks her ankles behind his spurs and arches into him, he has to break the kiss to groan.

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" he asks, breathless already.

"Fraternization," she says, which he really should have guessed; at least she looks a little self conscious about it. "But we're not in the same unit any more."

"Like Shepard cares about fraternization," he says, and suddenly wants to kick himself for the present tense.

She winces, but doesn't correct him, or at least not in words, because she immediately rolls them over. "My grandfather surrendered at Shanxi," she reminds him, punctuating each thought with a hard, biting kiss to one of his chest plates. "The officers always gave me crap - all my transfer requests got denied - I have to be better than the best - I can't even _look like_ I'm breaking regs - what if something happened and it came up when I got reassigned -"

So many things make sense now: Her initial prejudice against aliens, her work ethic, her attempts to look professional even off-duty and even when they'd lost everything, her worry over the regs after Shepard found them looking very much like they'd just been making out, even her surprise at her medals that he'd mistaken for modesty. She doesn't even need to add that he's turian, that a less open minded CO than Shepard would see that as worse than fraternization with a human squadmate.

Still: "That's _bullshit_. You don't deserve that, Ash."

She pulls back, frowning, yet not arguing. "That's my life. I've never been good enough for the Alliance."

"You're good enough for me," he says, and tugs her up for a quick kiss. " _Better_ than good enough."

Ashley stares at him for a moment like she's trying to decide whether to take him seriously, and then a tentative smile spreads across her face, and she rests her forehead on his, but at the same time she starts unbuckling his belt and that's just a very confusing mix of signals that he's never gotten from a turian woman. He doesn't mention it, though, because they've done enough blending of their cultures' affection and sexual customs that one more missed point of a gesture doesn't particularly bother him, and his shifting plates and hardening cock make it very difficult to be bothered by any movement that gets clothing off of him.

He sheds his trousers, shoes, and socks with Ashley apparently taking revenge for his attempts to distract her last time, biting and sucking at his carapace until he stops with one sock still on to nip at her pulse point just hard enough to get a moan but not enough to bruise, and then she lies on her side waiting for him, one hand drifting between her own legs. She uses that same hand to reach for his cock when he finally gets his stupid sock off and throws her back down to the bed, but abruptly her eyes widen and she pushes him away instead.

"Wait, wait, wait -"

Garrus sits up twitching his mandibles ( _again_?) as Ashley rolls off the bed, but then he smirks when she turns on the door's ` do not disturb` holo and switches off both their omni-tools.

"Who exactly are you expecting to interrupt this time?" he asks wryly. She hasn't asked anyone to page her, Joker must be drunk by now, and Shepard's dead.

"I don't know," she admits, sitting back on the bed. "But better safe than cockblocked for another month and a half, right?"

She hasn't even said where she's been reassigned (he understands why) and he still knows that a month and a half is extremely wishful thinking. It comes out as a wordless whine more in his subharmonic than his main vocal, and Ashley's probably interpreting it correctly, judging by the sudden frown on her face. So he's grateful for the distraction when she reaches behind her, adjusts something, and drops her bra. Though he's had enough overly talkative human and asari coworkers in C-Sec to know what breasts _are_ , they don't appeal to him as much as the way she tips her head back when he touches them, the way she goes breathless when he brushes a talon or his tongue over her nipples, the way she growls swearwords when he bites them, and her reactions are only stronger without the bra in the way.

He's almost surprised when she finally palms him through his underwear; he might have imagined it a few times in the _Normandy_ 's showers but he still half-expects someone to interrupt them. When no one does and she simply wraps her fingers around him, he groans, grazing his teeth on her shoulder, barely restraining himself from biting down. As she starts running her hand up and down his length, he glances up at her face: Slightly narrowed eyes, furrowed brow, licking her bottom lip without realizing.

He nips at her jawline. "You've got that face on again."

Ashley raises an eyebrow. "I didn't know I had a 'this is going to be really interesting somewhere else' face."

Even the idea gets a moan out of him before he can think to tamp it down. She bares her teeth when she smiles.

"No, you have an 'I'm comparing you to human guys' face," he explains. It's the same face as when he took his shirt off in the _Normandy_ cargo bay.

"I can't believe I have a xenophiliac comparison face," Ashley mutters, starting to pull his underwear down before he can tease her about it; he just shifts to make it easier instead. Once he's naked before her, she raises an eyebrow, which Garrus tentatively decides to take as a compliment. "I'm not gonna say anything about size, you and Joker can get out the rulers some other time, but... ridges."

"I'll spare you the evolutionary biology lesson," he says. He's not even sure he can remember it when she spits into her hand and starts sliding her fist up and down him like the barrel of a rifle (and he'd know: he'd been watching her work on her guns right up until the crash).

"Not the kind of cultural lesson I'm interested in," she agrees.

Garrus tries to keep his tone conversational, but his subvocal's giving away how turned on he is to anyone who knows what to listen for; he's pretty sure Ashley doesn't. "What were you wanting to know about turians?"

She leans forward, sucking the tip of one of his mandibles into her mouth, and he almost comes right there. "Things like... what's the cooldown time before you can shoot again, and _how_ interesting are those ridges going to feel somewhere else. Although I think I'm gonna need a warmup for that second one."

Part of him can't believe she just used a firearms metaphor in bed. The rest of him can't believe his luck. Swallowing, Garrus firmly takes hold of her wrist. "It's been long enough that the cooldown time would be _too_ long," he admits, breathless. "And I _definitely_ want to help you find out about the ridges."

"Great, I have a research partner," she says, grinning. "But what do _you_ want to get out of Human Intercourse 101?"

He leans forward and starts skimming kisses down her neck and torso, his hands on her knees and sliding upwards; Ashley shivers, her legs parting. "How to drive human women wild," he murmurs against her sternum. "Well, no: Just _this_ human woman."

Ashley puts a hand over his just as he reaches the top of her thigh. "Not with claws between the legs," she says firmly. "Or teeth. That's just how to hurt a human woman."

"Spirits, Ash, that's also how to hurt a _turian_ woman," he says, running a knuckle up the wet patch on her underwear with only the lightest pressure, and she shudders, closing her eyes.

"How am I supposed to know?" she says, but it's faint and breathless. "It's not like I've watched turian porn!"

Gently, he pushes her onto her back, before he ends up bending weirdly. He has reach, not flexibility. As he gingerly starts pulling down her panties (probably as expensive as the bra), he runs her teeth over her stomach, delighting in the shaky breath she draws in response. On turians, the waist has the least amount of plating on the body; it's attractive not only for its curves, but for its vulnerability, for the trust it means one's partner is showing. On Ashley (and presumably other human military women), there's a distinct contrast between how soft her skin is and how hard her muscle is underneath, and the sheer contradiction is somehow incredibly hot to him.

"You saw _one_ ," he says. "In fact, I think we saw the same cross-species vid." Probably not, there are a _lot_ of cross-species vids out there, but it's still hilarious that she saw one at all.

Only Ashley Williams would look reproachful while helping someone undress her. "I didn't _watch_ that."

" _I_ did." It was extranet research out of curiosity after their first encounter, albeit research that didn't get very far first because there was no privacy on the _Normandy_ unless you were CO, and then because there was no _Normandy_. "It actually didn't make cross-species intercourse look too appealing. Not that I just made it _sound_ appealing," he realizes. "Damn."

It's one of those things that's so far been infinitely more appealing in real life than in porn. Garrus sits back, looking over her naked body. She's not entirely dissimilar from a turian woman, especially where it counts, and not in an unpleasant way. The actress in the vid had nothing on Ashley.

Ashley props herself up on her elbows, looking down her nose at him. "You know, Garrus, that's _your_ xenophiliac comparison face."

"Give me some credit here," he says. "It's also my 'how did I end up bedding a woman more attractive than a porn actress' face."

Her eyes widen in surprise, and she opens her mouth, but doesn't say anything. He takes a certain pleasure in leaving her speechless.

"Tell me about human foreplay," he says. "I must be past 100 level now."

"Breasts were 200 level," she says. "300 level is hand jobs."

"'Hand jobs' is such an ugly term," he says, and he gives the Apien Crest colloquialism. "That's what we call it."

She tries it out, and despite himself he makes a face at her accent. "'Hand jobs' it is," she says. "Touch me."

He drags his knuckle up her slit, and she lets herself fall back onto the bed, drawing a deep, shaky breath. As he examines the fluid now covering part of his finger, she glances down at him.

"Yeah, _use_ that," she says, nodding. "Your skin's rougher than mine; this'll probably go better with nature's lube."

He nods back, and runs his knuckle up and down her to gather more. She hums with satisfaction.

"Like that," she breathes. "You can speed up, go a little harder - gradually."

As Garrus strokes her the way she wants, he watches her self control slowly splinter, but into bliss instead of grief, her hips rising to meet him, her toes curling, her fingers alternately spreading and clutching at the bathrobe and the sheets. It's a little intoxicating, especially with the tight lid she's been keeping on her emotions for the rest of the squad since the crash (he'd only noticed it because he'd looked). It's also a little maddening, because she's so wet, surely by now -

Ashley grabs his hand, giving him that focused look again. "Garrus, I noticed earlier - your lower plates moved. Does that happen for women too?"

He blinks. "Uh, yeah."

"Doesn't work that way for human women."

Spirits, he'd thought he was doing something wrong. She pulls his hand further, and his mandibles flare as with her help, he parts those soft folds. While it doesn't beat turian anatomy for convenience, there's a certain satisfaction about opening someone up himself, all touch from the get-go.

"Human Anatomy 304," she says, and laughs, probably at the look on his face. "Extra credit if you find - god _damn_."

"Turian women and human women aren't _that_ different once you get past the plates," Garrus says smugly, circling her clit with his knuckle.

"Same with men," she manages to get out, before he circles faster.

If he'd thought she was intoxicating before, it's nothing on the way she writhes and swears at him now, desperate for more contact. He'd said he wanted to drive her wild and it seems to be working, yet it's not _enough_ : He wants more of her; he wants her to fall apart.

For a moment, he considers, and then he licks the length of her slit. Ashley groans, but pulls him up to face her.

"Is that safe?" she asks, concern battling arousal in her eyes. "Levo, dextro?"

This is one thing Garrus _has_ looked up on the extranet after their first encounter left him with a slightly itchy mouth for a few days, but he wasn't exactly prepared for it today. "There are pills that can be taken after. Not as effective as before, but -" He licks his finger and swallows; her jaw goes a little slack as she watches him. She tastes different from turian women, but not in a bad way. "Worth it."

She looks suddenly enlightened. "Is it like that for spit too? Because that entire time on Ilos and the Battle of the Citadel, I had a sore throat."

"I _knew_ that wasn't a human hangover symptom," he says triumphantly. She'd kept clearing it. "But yes, it's all bodily fluids. I read that it's worse if you swallow, er, large quantities of something else, though."

"So I need to spit instead of swallow. Got it," she says. "God, allergic reactions to sex are the least sexy thing in the galaxy. As you were, Vakarian."

Garrus slides back down the bed before he knows he's doing it, his body responding to the military speak in more ways than one. "Chief," he murmurs, and then his tongue is otherwise occupied, lapping at her with short, shallow strokes that make her whine and grab his head to keep him there. As he speeds up around her clit, he thrusts his tongue inside her, attention mostly on her front walls rather than the exploratory mission of kissing. Her thighs try to close around his head until he puts his other hand on her leg, just enough pressure to let her know he's there, not enough to bruise or nick her skin, and then she lifts her other leg over his shoulder _anyway_.

" _Damn_ ," she sighs, dragging out the syllable like a long note in a song. Her fingers clench in his crest. "Oh, god - Garrus, stop, please - _Garrus_ -"

With a great effort, Ashley pulls him off of her, and his mandibles twitch as he watches her. "Did I get this wrong?"

"No, no, that was completely right -" She blushes, and smiles. It's oddly adorable. "I was _so_ close, but it's been a _really_ long time, and I'd be way too sensitive for another round straight off." Ashley sits up, rests her hands on his hips. "I want you inside me."

It's all he can do not to shove her against the wall, or lift her onto his lap, or - Garrus forces himself to stop picturing the great deal of ways he could make this happen, and just about falls off the bed in his dive for the bedside table. Ashley laughs a little hysterically at him as he pokes through the drawers for turian condoms and finally emerges victorious. Between that and the holes he's put in the bathrobe, the Alliance is going to be paying for some interesting extra charges on her room.

"I don't want to make you sick," he explains, carefully opening a condom packet. "How are you supposed to explain that to your new CO?"

Ashley straightens into seated attention and a crisp Alliance salute. "Sir, I'm so hot that even aliens want me," she says with the same tone she uses in formal verbal reports, and promptly dissolves into giggles.

He shakes his head as he rolls the condom on. " _One_ alien, Williams," he says dryly. "Don't get cocky."

"I don't know," she says, batting his hands away to smooth the condom down his length herself. Garrus groans. "I think Sha'ira checked me out once."

Despite having her hands wrapped around him, he forces his eyes open, his mandibles flaring. "What?"

"Kidding," she says, beaming. "She only had eyes for Shepard."

Spirits, he'd _thought_ he'd seen the Consort at the memorial.

Ashley lets go of him and slides her hands onto his thighs, dragging her nails up them. "Hello? You're not thinking about the Consort now, are you?"

There's faint but genuine concern in her eyes when he looks closely. Garrus leans forward and kisses her, slow and thorough, tipping her back onto the bed.

"I've only got one woman on my mind," he says. She smiles up at him, surprised and beautiful, and he runs a talon through her hair, leaning down to whisper in her ear: "The asari Councilor."

Howling with outraged laughter, Ashley punches him hard on the carapace. After a moment he joins in laughing, but quieter, not wanting to drown her out, not when this is the happiest he's seen her since the crash. She's still giggling when he kisses her cheek and presses inside her.

Her breath catches, and she shuts her eyes, and she looks worse than when he accidentally clawed her too hard by the Mako. Garrus stops, resting his forehead on hers. "Am I hurt--"

"It's been a _while_ ," she says, almost a whisper. "Also - only been with humans before. It's okay, keep going."

"Ash -"

She puts her hands into the valleys of his hips like they were made for her and digs her nails in. "Vakarian, that's an order."

There isn't quite enough breath in it to sound truly military, but Garrus still obeys automatically, a little embarrassed that she noticed that earlier. He barely stops himself from blurting out a "ma'am" as he eases in further, stroking her hair, watching her for any changes: After a moment she starts to relax, the tension melting away, and the next time she groans it's the good kind.

" _There_ ," she says. "Don't you _dare_ stop."

He's not sure he'd know _how_ to, when she feels this damn _good_ around him, warm and slick and tighter than turian women but somehow making room for him. Once he's deep inside her, she _clenches_ and he gasps, trying in vain to reach further and she laughs breathlessly against his shoulder, then bites down as he withdraws. She still growls.

He slides back in, easier this time, and as they fumble towards a rhythm, he asks, "As interesting as you'd hoped?"

"Better," Ashley breathes, her legs hooking over his hips, drawing him in. "God, you feel amazing."

His talons trace mindless patterns on her waist, careful not to score. "So do you."

"Shut up and kiss me," she demands.

He's happy to oblige her, their mouths crashing hard together as he rocks into her. She gets her nails into his chest plates, her other hand slipping around his waist and brushing down his spine, and he feels like he's drowning in her, need and pleasure and _Ash_ taking over his senses, a million times better than his flailing around in a harbor on Earth. When he slides his hands up to her breasts she breaks the kiss to groan, but then she tilts her head slightly and drags her teeth across his mandible. He can't help but jolt against her. Once she sucks on it, he's gone, "Ash" or "spirits" or something falling from his mouth as his movements go ragged; he's guessing from her tensing up and letting go of his mandible that she's close too, and as she arches into him, all that tension gone, he _knows_.

They ride out their orgasms until she starts pushing at his hips - probably the sensitivity she mentioned earlier - and with an effort, he withdraws. He rolls off of her onto his back, and for a long moment, both of them are silent but for attempts to get their breath back.

Eventually, Garrus gets up to deal with the condom. She's curled up facing the other wall when he returns to the bed, and he slides in behind her, one arm wrapping around her waist. She doesn't move except to place her hand over his.

"Are you okay?" he asks, partially because this isn't exactly the kind of behavior he expected after how happy and willing she'd been, and partially in case she's already reacting to the dextro/levo mismatch.

"Mm," she says, voice small, so he doesn't push it; he just nuzzles her shoulder instead. After a moment, she adds, "Is it weird that we slept together right after our friend's memorial?"

Of all the ways to kill the afterglow, being reminded that your closest friend is dead is probably the worst.

"Only a little more weird than making out the day after our other friend's death," he says. "There's nothing like losing someone to make you scared of losing someone else."

She rolls half onto her back to glare at him, and opens her mouth, only to close it again and frown, looking guilty.

"I'm losing you, aren't I," he realizes.

"I'm a Williams," she says helplessly. "The squad can't catch me vidmailing my turian boyfriend."

He sighs. After she left their sexual tension unresolved for over a month because a Williams can't fraternize, let alone with a turian, he really should have expected this. "I understand."

She laughs without humor. "I noticed you got off on a little military talk in bed, but 'I understand', like Kaidan about to die? Seriously?"

"What do you want, Ash?" he presses, his mandibles drawing together. "You want me to try and talk you into staying in contact? I'm not risking your career on the off chance I might get laid without someone dying first!"

" _There_ ," she says, her hand tightening on his. " _That's_ how I know we could have worked."

He's confused for a moment, but works it out aloud: "You meant it about the 'boyfriend' thing; it wasn't just afterglow."

Ashley nods, looking nervous but resolute.

He leans down, resting his forehead on hers. "If you'd seemed at all interested, I might have suggested it sooner."

She winces, but reaches up to touch his cheek. "I don't make this easy, do I."

"Unfortunately, I'm not interested in easy," he says. "I'm interested in _you_."

"We hooked up in the first place because I was drunk and sad," she objects. "You were _pretty_ interested in easy."

By that point, he'd been drunk too, if less self-destructively sad, but admitting his own easiness probably wouldn't help. " _Ash_."

She pushes him away and sits up, avoiding his gaze. "We're not getting into this," she says. "A two day relationship's so middle school, and vidmail breakups are just depressing."

Garrus nods, feeling sick, and he's not sure it's just the amino acid incompatibility. "This was just stress relief with a squadmate," he agrees. "Feeling alive after the deaths of people close to us."

"Just like the _Normandy_ ," she says, drawing her knees to her chest.

He blinks. "What?"

"Human and turian cooperation to improve on both species' strengths," she reminds him. He's about to laugh at having his own simile paraphrased back at him when she adds, "This is the crash."

Except instead of people, the only thing that died was the possibility of a relationship, though maybe that was never really alive in the first place. He swallows, tries to keep his voice light. "The two of us taking charge."

"But this time we're not looking for survivors," she says quietly.

He sits up, and with a line that clear, he resists the urge to touch her again. Great, they've just replaced their unresolved sexual tension with the tension of mutual but denied interest. "Spirits, you took this simile somewhere _horrible_."

"There's a reason I just read poetry instead of writing it," she says, picking up her bra. "Anyway, unless you've got those pills handy, we should probably hit the pharmacy."

"I wasn't _expecting_ this to happen," Garrus mutters, a little incredulous, before reaching for his shirt and saying aloud, "Pharmacy it is."

**Author's Note:**

> They kept mentioning a medal ceremony because it makes no sense to me that only Ash gets posthumous awards out of Virmire, so in my headcanon Kaidan gets them too, and the other _Normandy_ humans also get awards for other events: Shepard, Joker, and Ash got awards for the Battle of the Citadel; Ash got a bravery thing for Eden Prime; and because this continuity's pretty Paragon, Shepard also got awards for saving Zhu's Hope and various valor things and Joker got something for saving the Council. This is also where the entire Fifth Fleet got the Palladium Star.
> 
> [Garrus meets Tali for lunch](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4519896/chapters/10281798) soon after this; [the boys see off Ashley](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4519896/chapters/10281921) in two days.


End file.
